February 14th marked our 8 year anniversary, I can still remember the day I met Macro. It seems like just yesterday that I was sitting at the Main Street Parade at Disneyland and cross the way there stood a very good looking guy. I wish I could say it was love at first sight but it wasn't although I did think he was mighty hot.... still do. From that day forward we kept running into each other, it turned out we had the same friends but never managed to make it to the same outings and so began our dating days. I know most people say the first year is the honeymoon of any relationship because you are getting to know your partner and going on adventures but I can honestly say ours lasted for three year and it keeps getting better with time.
Marco and I have gone through so much together and he has been my rock, the one person that has been by my side no matter what and has always had my back. I owe a lot to him and can't thank him enough for loving me and all of my imperfections. I have always known that Marco would be a great dad some day and that day started on April 18th when we found out we were having a little one. I was able to experience for the very first time just how wonderful we would be on November 1st when we welcomed our little miracle baby into this world.
I have fallen in love with Marco many times over the years but every time I see him with Annalise I fall just a little bit deeper and my heart grows a little more each time. Marco you are an amazing man, friend, partner in crime and Dad. I know Dad would be very proud of the man you have become . I look forward to our many adventures together and falling in love with you a million more times. I love you for who you are and especially for who I am because of you.
My journey into motherhood
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Back Soon
It has been a little while since I have posted anything and I'm sorry between a busy schedule at work and family in town I have had very little free time. I promise I will be back next week with some new posts and pics as well. I hope everyone is having a great summer and see you all soon :)
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Three Days
Three days seems like a lifetime when you're waiting for the weekend but for us it wasn't enough time. After just three days of having Annalise home we had to rush her to the hospital because she was having a really hard time breathing and eating at the same time. We thought we would be there for a day maybe two but our trip quickly turned into the scariest experiences of my life.
We checked in at 1:30 am on January 2 and we were quickly moved in because RSV season was in high alert. Annalise was seen by the head respiratory therapist who suctioned her nose and mouth to clear anything out, she didn't think there was going to be much because she didn't sound bad but within minutes we were all proven wrong. I watched and held my little girl's hand as they worked on her to help her breath, she cried every step of the way and would only stop for a second when she saw I was next to her. It broke my heart to see her cry and I cried right along with her.
After minutes of suctioning and crying it was very apparent that Annalise's oxygen level was dropping she was given oxygen but with each doctor that came in to see her we were soon told that she would have to be admitted and they were going to have to put her on a CPAP machine. Once again we would have to see her with machines hooked up to her but this time seemed worse. I tried to pull my self together but the more I looked down at the gurney and saw my little girl in so much pain the more tears just fell from my face.
Our little one endured so much while she was in the hospital first her IV was put in wrong and the nurse insisted I was wrong, then the CPAP machine was bothering her so much and she was fighting it that they had to sedate her. After the first night and a change in nurses I made it a point to have the IV checked and sure enough I was right... they removed it because she had a second one put in by the NICU PICC specialist and she had done an amazing job that the first one was taken out and within minutes you could see a change in Annalise, she was comfortable and happy once again.
The CPAPA machine was removed after a couple of days and then we received the okay to feed her and for the first time in days I was able to hold my little girl in my arms and once again tell her everything was going to be okay she just had to fight.
Annalise spent 5 days at the hospital and I spent every minute both day and night with her I wasn't going to take any chances that something else would go wrong. Like a little fighter that she is Annalise kicked the bronchiolitis' butt, she had picked it up from the doctor's office 2 days before when we had taken her for an "introduction" to her pediatrician (we changed locations and thus doctors).
Annalise came home on December 29th... doctor's visit on December 30th and then at the children's hospital on January 2nd with bronchiolitis... Our little one was keeping us on our toes.
Annalise with her turtle that Daddy bought her while she was in the hospital... Finally going home.
Annalise was finally discharged and we were told to keep a close eye on her and if there were any changes to bring her in right away... well she made it exactly a month to the day before we were back again but this time she wasn't as bad. She only had to have a breathing treatment and some x-rays and we were able to take her home that same day apparently because of how small she was it took her body over a month to fully get rid of the bronchiolitis.
We have definitely had our share of hospital and doctor's visits but I'm happy to report that Annalise is doing great and brighting up our world with her smile each and every day.
We checked in at 1:30 am on January 2 and we were quickly moved in because RSV season was in high alert. Annalise was seen by the head respiratory therapist who suctioned her nose and mouth to clear anything out, she didn't think there was going to be much because she didn't sound bad but within minutes we were all proven wrong. I watched and held my little girl's hand as they worked on her to help her breath, she cried every step of the way and would only stop for a second when she saw I was next to her. It broke my heart to see her cry and I cried right along with her.
After minutes of suctioning and crying it was very apparent that Annalise's oxygen level was dropping she was given oxygen but with each doctor that came in to see her we were soon told that she would have to be admitted and they were going to have to put her on a CPAP machine. Once again we would have to see her with machines hooked up to her but this time seemed worse. I tried to pull my self together but the more I looked down at the gurney and saw my little girl in so much pain the more tears just fell from my face.
Our little one endured so much while she was in the hospital first her IV was put in wrong and the nurse insisted I was wrong, then the CPAP machine was bothering her so much and she was fighting it that they had to sedate her. After the first night and a change in nurses I made it a point to have the IV checked and sure enough I was right... they removed it because she had a second one put in by the NICU PICC specialist and she had done an amazing job that the first one was taken out and within minutes you could see a change in Annalise, she was comfortable and happy once again.
The CPAPA machine was removed after a couple of days and then we received the okay to feed her and for the first time in days I was able to hold my little girl in my arms and once again tell her everything was going to be okay she just had to fight.
Annalise spent 5 days at the hospital and I spent every minute both day and night with her I wasn't going to take any chances that something else would go wrong. Like a little fighter that she is Annalise kicked the bronchiolitis' butt, she had picked it up from the doctor's office 2 days before when we had taken her for an "introduction" to her pediatrician (we changed locations and thus doctors).
Annalise came home on December 29th... doctor's visit on December 30th and then at the children's hospital on January 2nd with bronchiolitis... Our little one was keeping us on our toes.
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| December 30 |
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| Hating the CPAP |
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| Feeling better but still swollen |
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| Showing off her new hat |
Annalise was finally discharged and we were told to keep a close eye on her and if there were any changes to bring her in right away... well she made it exactly a month to the day before we were back again but this time she wasn't as bad. She only had to have a breathing treatment and some x-rays and we were able to take her home that same day apparently because of how small she was it took her body over a month to fully get rid of the bronchiolitis.
We have definitely had our share of hospital and doctor's visits but I'm happy to report that Annalise is doing great and brighting up our world with her smile each and every day.
Friday, July 1, 2011
December 29th
The day we brought Annalise home was one of the happiest days of my life, I was so excited to finally bring our little one home but not before spending the entire day at the NICU going through paper work, tests and of course last minute supplies. I remember looking at the clock and thinking okay NOW can I take her home... it was definitely a long day. In the last hour of double checking we had everything and last minute questions being answered all of a sudden I was scared... what if something happened? I was so use to hearing the beeping of the machines and being able to see where her heart rate was and how her oxygen level was that I wasn't sure what to expect once we got home. I was scared of the unknown but with Marco in hand we sad good-bye to what had been Annalise's home for 59 days and stepped out into the world...
Off we go... little did we know that the first week we won't get more than 1-2 hours of sleep at a time. It took us all some time to get use to things but in the end it was all worth it.
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| Annalise's Home for 59 days |
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| All bundled up and ready to go |
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| Thank you Erin!!! |
Off we go... little did we know that the first week we won't get more than 1-2 hours of sleep at a time. It took us all some time to get use to things but in the end it was all worth it.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
59 Days
The first time I was able to hold my little one was two days after she was born, my doctor had given me a pass to leave my hospital and have Marco drive me over to the NICU so I could spend a couple of hours with her. I can remember walking into the NICU and seeing all of these incubators and signs with each babies name. I looked around searching for my Annalise but I couldn't find her. I saw this tiny little baby and thought to my self wow she is so tiny and continued searching because I remembered my Annalise being bigger but to my surprise Marco lead me straight to this little baby... she was MY Annalise. I broke down in tears at the sight of all of the machines and seeing just how small she was...
1 lb 15 oz.
Annalise spent 59 days in the NICU and she had her good days and bad but one thing she was/is is a fighter. There were several times that she pulled out her feeding tube because she didn't like it and when she was hungry she would let you know as her nurse Julie knows oh so well. As days went by we saw her personality come through and watched in amazement how she went from a feeding tube to a Haberman bottle to a Dr. Brown's bottle and with each progression she gained weight which meant we would be able to take her home someday soon
I think the hardest part for us was leaving each day and wondering if today she would be a good night or a not so good night. There were a couple of times were she lost some weight or she didn't eat as much and she even had some nights were she couldn't hold her temperature in the open crib which meant she had to go back into the incubator... this meant more days in the NICU. We would call each morning and night to check-in and see how she was doing but each morning I couldn't wait to get up and be with her. There were days were I spent all day with her and I would just talk to her and hold her but like a good man that Marco is he would remind me that I needed rest and to eat because if I got sick then I wouldn't be able to see her, so off I would go to eat lunch and rest but there wasn't a day that went by that I wasn't by her side loving her and praying that we would soon bring home a healthy baby.
While Annalise was in the NICU Mom (Marco's) flew in from Philadelphia to be with us and take care of us. Every morning Marco would drive us to the hospital and we would spend hours taking turns with Annalise, the NICU only allowed two people per child so Marco and Mom would switch. The day Mom flew in we surprised her and took her straight to the NICU to see Annalise I can remember her face when she saw how tiny Annalise was and how thankful she was for our little miracle baby. Mom would talk to Annalise and pray over her each day and I think all of our love really helped her to stay strong and fight.
My little girl truly gave it all she had and managed to leave the NICU weighing 4 lbs and 11.8 oz. on December 29, 2010. She had such amazing doctors and two primary nurses Julie and Erin and many more that took such great care of her and I can't stop singing their praises. Thank you all for everything that you did for our daughter and the great care that you gave her.
I have to say a special thank you to Marco because I know it was very hard for him to see me cry and see his little girl in the NICU but through out all of this he was my rock. He held me up and reminded me that Annalise would be okay and that we just had to love her and be by her side because she had Dad's fighting spirit and lots of people were praying for her. I can't thank him enough for being my strength and being such an amazing man.
1 lb 15 oz.
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| Proud Daddy |
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| Proud Mommy |
My little girl truly gave it all she had and managed to leave the NICU weighing 4 lbs and 11.8 oz. on December 29, 2010. She had such amazing doctors and two primary nurses Julie and Erin and many more that took such great care of her and I can't stop singing their praises. Thank you all for everything that you did for our daughter and the great care that you gave her.
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| December 29, 2010 |
I have to say a special thank you to Marco because I know it was very hard for him to see me cry and see his little girl in the NICU but through out all of this he was my rock. He held me up and reminded me that Annalise would be okay and that we just had to love her and be by her side because she had Dad's fighting spirit and lots of people were praying for her. I can't thank him enough for being my strength and being such an amazing man.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
The Beginning
This will be my first post sine I started this blog and it was meant to be an on going thing while I was pregnant with our little one, but time got away from me so instead I'll try and fill you in on what has taken place over the last 9 months plus.
We found out we were pregnant on April 18, 2010 and it was a very exciting day. Marco knew from the very beginning, I on the other hand thought I was getting sick and was surprised when the pregnancy test read positive.... I called the doctor the next day and had blood work done and within a couple of days we found out we were pregnant. I wanted to tell the world but Marco wanted to keep it a secret at least for a couple of months but we couldn't keep it in for very long. We told the family a few days before Mother's Day while Marco was in Philadelphia and I can remember hearing how excited Dad, Mom and Jackie were when they saw the video Marco had put together. I will never forget hearing how happy Dad was and what he said to me that day.
My pregnancy was pretty normal and easy going. I never had morning sickness or weird cravings but I did want fruit ALL the time. Overall I loved being pregnant and when I felt our little one kick for the first time my heart stopped and at that very moment I realized I was going to be a Mommy. Throughout the months my belly grew and my want for sleep increased each day.
I went in for my usual appointment in October and everything checked out, my doctor was happy with my weight gain and foresaw a very healthy baby. Halloween came around and we were invited to Nestor & Liz's Halloween party so of course we had to take advantage of the fact that I was pregnant to come up with some great costumes. Marco was going to be a baker with the whole baker get up and I was going to be the oven and when you opened the oven door you would see the "bun in the oven." Unfortunately that didn't work so we had to go with plan b which was Marco as baker Mickey and I was pregnant Minnie. Marco had made me a shirt that had a bun with a little pink bow. We had a great time at the party. The following day we decided to go to Coronado Island to take pictures where Marco had proposed. We wanted to capture my growing belly.
I had gone in to work November 1st but was very worried because our little one hadn't been moving a lot the previous day while we were taking pictures, I was going into work with the intention of leaving if things didn't change. I called Marco after lunch and told him that our little one hadn't moved all day. He did some research and called my doctor and called me back right away and told me to head home so we could go into Labor & Delivery. We checked-in at Scripps Mercy at 3:15 p.m. and within 30 minutes we were told the baby was in a lot of stress and her heart rate was dropping so we had to have an emergency c-section, you can only imagine how surprised I was when I heard this seeing as my due date was December 26. Emotions were running high and all I could do was cry and pray that everything would be okay with our little one. November 1st had marked 6 months since Lily was taken from us and 3 months since Dad passed away so to say the least I was a bit worried.
At 4:56 p.m. we welcomed our little girl, Annalise Hope weighing in at 1 lb. 15oz and 13 inches long.
My emotions were all over the place as I waited to hear her cry and after what seemed like hours we heard a tiny cry. Marco went to be with the baby for a little bit while the doctors worked on me but returned shortly to make sure I was okay. I didn't get to hold our daughter as she was too small and fragile but the doctors did bring her by while I was in recovery so I could see her before they took her to another hospital. Mercy had a level 2 NICU and Annalise required a level 3 so she was taken to UCSD- Hillcrest where she spent 59 days receiving amazing care by wonderful people and we were by her side every single day.
We found out we were pregnant on April 18, 2010 and it was a very exciting day. Marco knew from the very beginning, I on the other hand thought I was getting sick and was surprised when the pregnancy test read positive.... I called the doctor the next day and had blood work done and within a couple of days we found out we were pregnant. I wanted to tell the world but Marco wanted to keep it a secret at least for a couple of months but we couldn't keep it in for very long. We told the family a few days before Mother's Day while Marco was in Philadelphia and I can remember hearing how excited Dad, Mom and Jackie were when they saw the video Marco had put together. I will never forget hearing how happy Dad was and what he said to me that day.
My pregnancy was pretty normal and easy going. I never had morning sickness or weird cravings but I did want fruit ALL the time. Overall I loved being pregnant and when I felt our little one kick for the first time my heart stopped and at that very moment I realized I was going to be a Mommy. Throughout the months my belly grew and my want for sleep increased each day.
I went in for my usual appointment in October and everything checked out, my doctor was happy with my weight gain and foresaw a very healthy baby. Halloween came around and we were invited to Nestor & Liz's Halloween party so of course we had to take advantage of the fact that I was pregnant to come up with some great costumes. Marco was going to be a baker with the whole baker get up and I was going to be the oven and when you opened the oven door you would see the "bun in the oven." Unfortunately that didn't work so we had to go with plan b which was Marco as baker Mickey and I was pregnant Minnie. Marco had made me a shirt that had a bun with a little pink bow. We had a great time at the party. The following day we decided to go to Coronado Island to take pictures where Marco had proposed. We wanted to capture my growing belly.
I had gone in to work November 1st but was very worried because our little one hadn't been moving a lot the previous day while we were taking pictures, I was going into work with the intention of leaving if things didn't change. I called Marco after lunch and told him that our little one hadn't moved all day. He did some research and called my doctor and called me back right away and told me to head home so we could go into Labor & Delivery. We checked-in at Scripps Mercy at 3:15 p.m. and within 30 minutes we were told the baby was in a lot of stress and her heart rate was dropping so we had to have an emergency c-section, you can only imagine how surprised I was when I heard this seeing as my due date was December 26. Emotions were running high and all I could do was cry and pray that everything would be okay with our little one. November 1st had marked 6 months since Lily was taken from us and 3 months since Dad passed away so to say the least I was a bit worried.
At 4:56 p.m. we welcomed our little girl, Annalise Hope weighing in at 1 lb. 15oz and 13 inches long.
My emotions were all over the place as I waited to hear her cry and after what seemed like hours we heard a tiny cry. Marco went to be with the baby for a little bit while the doctors worked on me but returned shortly to make sure I was okay. I didn't get to hold our daughter as she was too small and fragile but the doctors did bring her by while I was in recovery so I could see her before they took her to another hospital. Mercy had a level 2 NICU and Annalise required a level 3 so she was taken to UCSD- Hillcrest where she spent 59 days receiving amazing care by wonderful people and we were by her side every single day.
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